Say What?
I live in constant fear that I'll forget something. Anything. Everything.
It could be something big like my Mom's birthday (although I didn't forget it, I just kept forgetting to send the card) or little, like hair conditioner--I've been out for a week and a half and yet my brain can't remember that tiny fact the numerous times that I'm in the vicinity of a store.
I have a fairly good "emergency rememberer" which will set off a mental alarm when I've overlooked something. In fact, I think I'm in training for that maternal reflex we all remember...the moment where the family is driving to church Sunday morning and mom suddenly gasps with all the horror of the world in her voice. As dad swerves to remain on the road after his heartrate doubles, he anxiously asks what happened. Dismayed she exclaims, "I forgot to turn off the iron!" Now, I only buy irons and curling irons with automatic shut-offs to avoid repeating that specific line of history.
I have those moments in spades, it's just that they always come at times when I can do nothing about them. Writing lists is somewhat effective, but that's hard to do when driving down the road (I confess I still do sometimes, but only when it's REALLY important and when nobody else is around), or in the shower when paper becomes a bit of a problem, or in church when I'm really wanting to focus on spiritual growth and development instead of being distracted with a shopping list.
When I have my moments, I have to stay in a heightened state of panic to remember it until a time when I'm able to do something about it. Just the other week while I was dozing on an airplane for a business trip (which, by the way, always sounded glamorous when I was younger but truly isn't), it occurred to me that there was something wrong with my flight. No, not the one I was on--I had booked a flight earlier in the day for my trip to Minneapolis to be in my friend Emily's wedding (only a month and a half away--I can't believe it!). When I first checked out Travelocity or Orbitz or wherever it was, I had looked at staying for 12 days. Somehow when I went to nwa.com, the 12 stuck in my head and I purchased the return flight for July 12th, instead of 12 days after my arrival. For the remainder of the flight I had to mentally pummel myself to not forget until we landed and I could use my cell phone to check into it.
And yet, there are inevitably times when I just can't seem to bend my memory to my will. I forget to call or write or buy or show up. And then I become sad. I feel like I've disappointed myself by not appropriately showing friends or family that I care. And, that's the case with my most recent occurrence which prompted this outpouring. Oh no--I think I just thought of another I missed! (I'm not kidding) At this point, I can't do anything else but still reach out and say "I love you!" or "I'm thinking about you!" even if it doesn't happen to coincide with the dates that everyone else manages to say the same thing.
That's all. No happy wrap-up or conclusion, as would befit proper writing form. Just thinking about things and feeling the need to post rather than keep quiet.
It could be something big like my Mom's birthday (although I didn't forget it, I just kept forgetting to send the card) or little, like hair conditioner--I've been out for a week and a half and yet my brain can't remember that tiny fact the numerous times that I'm in the vicinity of a store.
I have a fairly good "emergency rememberer" which will set off a mental alarm when I've overlooked something. In fact, I think I'm in training for that maternal reflex we all remember...the moment where the family is driving to church Sunday morning and mom suddenly gasps with all the horror of the world in her voice. As dad swerves to remain on the road after his heartrate doubles, he anxiously asks what happened. Dismayed she exclaims, "I forgot to turn off the iron!" Now, I only buy irons and curling irons with automatic shut-offs to avoid repeating that specific line of history.
I have those moments in spades, it's just that they always come at times when I can do nothing about them. Writing lists is somewhat effective, but that's hard to do when driving down the road (I confess I still do sometimes, but only when it's REALLY important and when nobody else is around), or in the shower when paper becomes a bit of a problem, or in church when I'm really wanting to focus on spiritual growth and development instead of being distracted with a shopping list.
When I have my moments, I have to stay in a heightened state of panic to remember it until a time when I'm able to do something about it. Just the other week while I was dozing on an airplane for a business trip (which, by the way, always sounded glamorous when I was younger but truly isn't), it occurred to me that there was something wrong with my flight. No, not the one I was on--I had booked a flight earlier in the day for my trip to Minneapolis to be in my friend Emily's wedding (only a month and a half away--I can't believe it!). When I first checked out Travelocity or Orbitz or wherever it was, I had looked at staying for 12 days. Somehow when I went to nwa.com, the 12 stuck in my head and I purchased the return flight for July 12th, instead of 12 days after my arrival. For the remainder of the flight I had to mentally pummel myself to not forget until we landed and I could use my cell phone to check into it.
And yet, there are inevitably times when I just can't seem to bend my memory to my will. I forget to call or write or buy or show up. And then I become sad. I feel like I've disappointed myself by not appropriately showing friends or family that I care. And, that's the case with my most recent occurrence which prompted this outpouring. Oh no--I think I just thought of another I missed! (I'm not kidding) At this point, I can't do anything else but still reach out and say "I love you!" or "I'm thinking about you!" even if it doesn't happen to coincide with the dates that everyone else manages to say the same thing.
That's all. No happy wrap-up or conclusion, as would befit proper writing form. Just thinking about things and feeling the need to post rather than keep quiet.
posted by Shannon at 6:35 PM
1 Comments:
Does this have anything to do with my birthday, or did you not remember that you forgot that until later?? :) we still love you shannon...even when you forget us
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