Interesting Facts

Challenged by someone at work to come up with things that people might not necessarily know about me, I came up with the beginning of the following list (and added a few more):

• I know how to play the hammered dulcimer, although I will not be joining a bluegrass band anytime soon. The piano, flute and occasionally the tin whistle round out the instrument list.
• I suffer from mild narcolepsy.
• I purchased my own first computer when I was 11.
• As a child, I was so terrified of black toilet seats that I would scream hysterically when my mother tried to take me to public restrooms.
• I've never broken a bone, but once my brother closed the back of a hatchback station wagon with my head in the way.
• I've only been out of the country once, and just to Mackinaw Island in Canada.
• I was a manager at McDonald's for 3 years, starting the month before I turned 16.
• I dressed up as Grimace one year for a 4th of July parade.
• I have a fear of falling down stairs--not due to heights, but due to coordination deficiency.
• I have a vein on my right inner elbow shaped like the game Hangman.
• My brother and I have semi-matching moles in a triangular formation on our necks.
• I've been told by friends and strangers that I sometimes resemble Geena Davis.
• All my biological grandparents passed away before I was born.
• For over a year in junior high, a friend and I were so enamored with Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that we wrote our own stories with the characters, and rarely watched the show because we enjoyed our version so much better.
• I'm so deathly afraid of snakes (and tarantulas) that I can't even look at them in cages at the zoo and avoid touching pictures of them in magazines.
• Two days after I got my first car, I hit a deer on the highway on the way back to college. I was so shocked I was stuttering when calling my dad from the gas station to let him know what happened and ask for advice.
• My reading vocabulary developed much faster than my pronunciation. To this day, I still discover words that I can understand and spell and never realized I didn't know how to say them properly. Examples from the past: chaos, faux, rendezvous, hors d'oevres, and most recently canapes.
• Due to an old fall, I have sensitive nerves in my left knee and can't kneel on it.

Blue Bliss

Now that I've actually read the part about adding a profile picture, I found I don't have any recent postable pictures since last summer when I went on the oh-so-photographable trip to NYC with my lovely compadres Liz and Katie. This one was close to making the cut but ultimately lost out since my eyes aren't even open, but it reminded me of fun we had on the trip in between the sweltering days and breezy evenings which we so thoroughly enjoyed. And it was about time I got over my grudge against blue M&M's (they're interlopers I tell you!), especially when cheek to cheek with such a dashing specimen.

the grocery puzzle

There is an unpleasant chore which I bring myself to do every few weeks out of desperation or boredom. Some know it as grocery shopping. I like to think of it as a carefully balanced calculation of how many days' worth of food I can possibly pack into the fewest number of bags I can carry from my car to my second floor apartment--in one trip. This self-imposed limitation is the subliminal current letting me know just the right moment when my cart is stacked high enough to require a handful of bags, but the way it corners while rounding the last aisle is still smooth enough that a gallon of milk won't unbalance the load. I become more and more thankful that the produce section comes first in the store, so I get my fruits and veggies in the mix before calling it quits. I carefully watch the bag boy/girl/person as they package my purchases, hoping my aisle selection rewarded me with an experienced bundler. Or, as experienced as one can be at the age of 16, with the majority of their grocery history being the seemingly magical apparition of food behind the cupboard doors of their parents' home.

Upon parking at my apartment building, I survey the contents of my trunk for the best carrying strategy. Plastic bags are a must, as they can be layered around a firm grip, like an upside-down floral arrangement (or, so I would guess, since I've never been able to successfully put one together!). Plus, they're handy for tidying up after the special gifts of roommates of the feline persuasion. But I digress. Bags with canned goods are gathered first because they can withstand the most pressure from other items around them. Layered next are frozen foods, since they can't usually dent much. Produce or breads follow--and they must be stacked on the outside, so as to avoid unfortunate contact with a knee during transport. Eggs aren't allowed unless on a special (i.e., short) shopping excursion. And last but not least, the bag with the milk is reserved for the free hand because it's too heavy to join the others and can also stand on its own while alternately closing the trunk and managing the door key.

This juggling act has become my own little triumph for every time which I successfully complete it. Surely the satisfaction can't be simply the masterful subjugation of bending grocery staples to my iron will. Perhaps it's a need to feel competent and resourceful. Or the joy of a puzzle well solved. All I know is I have my apples and peanut butter, with no dents or dings to diminish them.

High Noon at the...warehouse?

Yes, I admit--I'm a Star Wars fan. Although, not quite to this extent. Good effort though.

Changes, I'm going through cha-a-a-anges

I believe we've established that timeliness is not a strong point of mine. Sometimes that means what time I eventually make it out the door for work in the mornings, other times it means sending birthday cards (mom, yours is on its way!), or how long it takes me to fully unpack from a trip--I believe this last time was only 2.5 months! It's not that I intend to let so many things slide underneath my radar, but that's exactly what they do. And yet, at work I'm all about details (don't worry, I don't understand me either).

The most recent example, which I just had to share, is my desk. This coming September will be my 3 year anniversary of moving to Florida. I knew it was a bad sign when it took me 8 months to get a couch (2 for shopping, 3 for delivery, 3 more for correct delivery).

I also happened not to have a desk when I relocated, which shocks even me, considering how much I use my computer. As a faithful but in no way comparable stand-in, I used an end table that I swiped from my parents' house. I'm pretty sure they knew about it and gave permission under duress, but I really don't recall. Thanks to Rob's stellar oversight in my mini Shuttle CPU setup, and using a trackball mouse, everything could just fit on the small surface, and I'd just forget about the fact that I had no space for anything else, let alone my knees.

I'm not sure what snapped in my mind (no, it wasn't an extra bolt), but I decided I needed to get at least an economical version (think cheap!). The bonus was that I got to put it together myself. I love those things! So, I put it together two weeks ago and am quite happy with it. It took me two weeks to add it here though because I had to rearrange the clutter that didn't have a home before :)

So, with no further ado...TA DA!!

New pictures of Ian!

Well, not new, so much as recent. So I'm slow!

Here's my favorite one, but check out what's new with Ian to see more

Automated Greeting

I've never understood how "Hi, how are you?" has become the standard greeting in corporate America. And yet, when walking down the hall, it's the obligatory phrase used by 90% of people. Don't get me wrong--for the few who actually ask while in a standing position (e.g., at your desk or in a meeting or the lunchroom), it's usually well-intentioned and offered because they're trying to initiate a conversation. Even if it is a bit mundane, at least it gets both parties talking and maybe leads to another topic you have in common. This is a good thing.

The ones that baffle me are when two people walking in opposite directions (insert pre-algebra word problem here about a train leaving Philadelphia at 70 mph passing a train from New York going 57 mph...) and instead of just a pleasant "Hi!" or "Hello!" or "Good morning!", out comes the parasitic attachment "...how are you?" And yet, they keep walking. I mean, really! How much of an answer can they want to hear in the 4 seconds before you're both out of conversational distance?

Here's how the response is supposed to work . . . all you have time for is a general

"I'm [insert 'ok', 'fine', 'good', or 'great', followed by the
appropriate day's phrase--see below]! How about you?"

All must give a very general impression that you're doing well, but not too well, so the other person doesn't have to uncomfortably stop to ask why your state of being is outside the norm--because that wouldn't fit into allotted hallway conversation time! Therefore, "Fine!" and "Ok!" must be said with exclamation points in order to add the chipper up-tone at the end of the sentence, and "Good" or "Great" must have a carefully monotone inflection to denote things are just dandy but that there is no recent activity which the other person needs to ask about. Also taboo is switching it up (such as the grammatically correct, which I prefer, "I'm well, thank you." Yes, I know, if I were truly a stickler I wouldn't have said "you" throughought this whole rant, but phrases like "one's own desk" just get stuffy, so I refuse. Call it creative license if you must.). Any variation causes a double-take while the other person tries to process a response other than the automatic one they were expecting.
If both of you are walking slowly though, and someone asks the question while they're still far away, just a swap of "I'm good. How are you?" "Fine!" doesn't fill enough walking time until the two of you pass. Then the daily countdown phrase must be inserted for the corporate version of comedic affect (anyone seen Office Space?)

• Monday - "Good, for a Monday!"
• Tuesday - "Still feels like Monday!"
• Wednesday - "Halfway through the week!"
• Thursday - "It's almost Friday!"
• Friday - "Ready for the weekend!"

Am I cynical? Yes, I suppose, about this. I just hate being insincere or running on autopilot in my interactions with people.