voices in my head

I don't often talk to myself, and almost never is it audible. But every once in a while I'll have a phrase that I have to keep repeating to myself to try to make it penetrate the depths of my brain. Sometimes it's about self-confidence in situations where I'm meeting new people. Sometimes it's berating myself for a poor driving choice or lack of timeliness many mornings. Sometimes it's a mental banging of my head against a brick wall for something ill-advised that I just said or did. Tonight it was a constant refrain of "God gives grace to the humble." (James 4 is just chock full of goodies!)

See, I started helping out this not-for-profit foundation that takes old computers, refurbishes them and replaces basic parts as needed, then adds free programs including educational kids' games, basic office systems and Bible software. They then distribute them to local ministries, community centers, needy schools and overseas missions free of charge. This is the second week I've been helping out.

I started this long explanation of how tonight went, but even my eyes were glazing over with my explanation, so I'll sum up with this--troubleshooting doesn't work the same way on nice, new computers such as what I'm familiar with at work. It's more of a creative art form with trying to make old computers work well enough to be basic workhorses that can still be a blessing to those in need. So even though I have to keep asking for help and feeling like such a newbie, hopefully the humility will get easier to chew with time, and with the grace God promises, I'm confident it will be a blessing not only to others but also to me.

On a side note, I was telling one of my brothers just tonight that I no longer feel like the youngest person around anymore. I was always the youngest in my family, one of the youngest in my grade in high school and college, and frequently the youngest amongst my peers at my jobs. I've never felt old before, but that's starting to change. We now have a good-sized group of "young people" at church that are post high school and drifting in various educational and economic pursuits. I'm within 2 years of the oldest people (you know who you are!!) in "our group." Always before, I've been the young spring chicken with all the verve, vigor and best eyesight of the group (or at least the smallest monitor resolution, but that's because I can't stand not seeing as much as possible fit on my screen). Not so much anymore. However, at my little computer group Monday nights, I'm pretty sure I'm one of 3 under 40 (maybe even under 50!), which adds to my feelings of ineptitude, but if I look at it positively, there is a lot of experience around of which I can avail myself.

Godgivesgracetothehumble.
Godgivesgracetothehumble.
Godgivesgracetothehumble.
Godgivesgracetothehumble...